It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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