I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
