She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
