i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
