Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
