Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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