Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
