garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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