I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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