HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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