Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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