Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize