I wish i was in the wii world.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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