Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Holy sore nipples Batman
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
