The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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