Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
