You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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