After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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