You work out of a Hotel?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
