I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
