Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
