It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
