Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do herpes really smell.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
