wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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