I cockslap morals
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
