Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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