Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
