dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
