I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
