Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Green mimosas i think yes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
