so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
