Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A+ Viking dick
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
