it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
