Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
