what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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