she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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