Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
