I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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