Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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