right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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