I think I died a long time ago.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
