Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
