Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
