omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize