Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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