How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
