I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
