I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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