even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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