this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize