I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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