Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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