Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
one might say we're banned from that church
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All I want is dick and wine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
