I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
