I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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