I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
