More tranny stories later!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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