after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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