dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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