Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
