What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
