I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
