I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
