if you like me you must not know who I am
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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